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The Festivus Skit

Many of you may be familiar with the secular holiday of Festivus, also known as “a Festivus for the rest of us”, from the show Seinfeld.

Here’s my skit pitch for Saturday Night Live:

A Very Trump Festivus

Trump Festivus


  • The entire Trump family – The ones who grace the public sphere.  (We can leave Baron and Tiffany out.)
  • A Festivus pole – not one made of base aluminum (of course) but one made of gold-plated Rhino horn.
  • Festivus dinner – Cheeseburgers!
  • The Airing of GrievancesThe best part!  You can just imagine how that would go.
  • Feats of Strength – Festivus is not over until the head of the household is pinned in a wrestling match.  Who’s got the balls to pin Ivanka?

There you go SNL writers… take it from here.  (you’re welcome!)

In other news… I figured out what my porn name is.  Behold!  “Dickey McLongSchlong”