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Eggbeard The Pirate

I can’t sleep because I keep thinking about Eggbeard The Pirate.

Yeah, he has all the pirate-stuff going on. Beard, hat. Sharp knifey-thing at hand. Cool hat.

Eggbeard knows all the seven seas, which is a lot of seas.

Like really? That many seas? Who knew? Wouldn’t two or three seas be enough but apparently not.

Eggbeard likes cutlasses and cannons.

When there’s rum there’s rum and where there’s no rum there’s no rum.

Sailing might seem romatic, but mostly it’s boring. Let’s just sit around on this floaty-thing while we wait around to get someplace.

Why is there all this make-work on old school sailing vessels? It’s because no one wants to be that bored.

Why does Eggbeard do what he does? Because it’s Tuesday.

Your author has been in the actual caribbean with actual pirates and I do not poop you out, on that dear readers.

Eggbeard knows there’s some weird stuff out there and the price of breakfast on Key West if you know where to go.

Get the double coffee and the double cuban-style cheese bread. Eggbeard backs me up on this.

Much of what happens on Key West is hidden, but you can trust the coffee.

Eggbeard looks like a cos-player on Duval Street but he’s not playing.

He’s actually there to kill you and take your stuff.